"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43:2

Then why do I feel alone, water-swept and burned...
I have no choice but to trust in what I know is true.

Not only do I now fear losing those dearest to me, but I fear death taking me from my own children and husband. It is not death itself that I fear, but what the result would be in the lives of my family.

Jared just stumbled out of his room (woke up from being cold, no doubt, as he insisted on sleeping with only jammie bottoms on :) ) so I put his shirt on and tucked him back into bed, cuddling with him for a few minutes. There is no sweeter smell on earth than the sleepy little head of your son; nor is there a sweeter sound on earth than the gentle breathing of your baby girl across the room. He is my fireball sun; she is my gentle moon. He is the only grandbaby to ever know his Grandma; she is a true miracle.

Did I ever think life could be this hard? Not a chance. Could it be harder? No doubt. Is it silly that I still miss my Mom daily? Not at all. Will this pain ever go away? Unlikely. Am I learning that our society dismisses grief with a flick of the wrist? You bet. Will I ever fully trust God again? I am really hoping...